Well, I wound up staying up all night writing this one. This takes place during chapter 35 of my story, “Come Down From Your Fences”. Two-Bit tries to explain the circumstances surrounding the concussion Dallas received the night before. Needless to say, he embellishes things a bit.
Well, What Happened Was …
Two-Bit rocked back on his heels, grinning as he reached out and rang the doorbell. Boy was Johnny going to be in for a surprise. Said surprise was currently standing behind him, leaning heavily on one the columns flanking the entrance, looking for all the world like he was going to pass out at any second.
Dally looked like crap and Two-Bit couldn’t help but get a big kick out of it. The story surrounding the whole thing was just too good to not relish in the absurdity of it. Robbing houses with Tim Shepard. Even better - robbing
Soc houses with Tim Shepard. And even better than that - robbing
Cherry Valance’s house with Tim Shepard, completely unaware that it was her house in the first place, only to be caught in the middle of the crime seconds before getting a vase smashed across the back of his head by the same Miss Valance.
If Dally had any idea about half the jokes running through Two-Bit’s head ever since Pony had finished telling him that story, he would have killed him without a second thought.
The door opened, revealing Mary Martin, Johnny’s foster mom. She smiled kindly when she saw Two-Bit and Ponyboy standing on the other side, waiting patiently. She called him ‘Keith’ - she always called him Keith. At first, he thought she just kept forgetting that he liked to be called Two-Bit, but a couple of times he’d caught a mischievous glint in her eyes. Oh, she knew all right - and she knew how much it bugged him. Mrs. Martin was okay in his book.
She’d never met Dally before - he’d forgotten that. Dallas had been scarce ever since getting released from the cooler a few months back and nobody from the gang really saw him anymore. He was only there now because the doctor wouldn’t send him home without someone to keep an eye on him. Two-Bit had joked that he and Pony were now Dally’s personal babysitters … yeah, his arm was still smarting from the punch that followed that one. Thing was, Two-Bit couldn’t decide if Dally would have found it funny even without the concussion and the row of stitches in the back of his head.
The trio ambled into the house. The place still shocked Two-Bit sometimes. Their Johnnycake lived here - in a nice house, in a nice neighborhood, with some nice folks watching out for him. After all the bad stuff that had happened, it was cool that some good had come out of it.
Johnny was on the couch, his wheelchair sitting off to the side. It had taken some getting used to, but now Two-Bit barely even noticed the thing. It was just part of who Johnny was and there was no way to change that, so he might as well accept it. He knew Dally was still having a hard time with it and he wished he had the guts to knock some sense into him. Johnny was still Johnny. So what if he couldn’t walk anymore?
He flopped on the couch next to Johnny and was joined by Ponyboy who squeezed in next to him to make room for Dally. Dallas was looking around like he was casing the joint. Two-Bit couldn’t make out his expression - his jaw was clenched and his eyes were narrowed. He looked like he was waiting for some trap to be sprung at any moment, like there was a horde of cops waiting in the kitchen to take him down.
Dally was about to sit down when Mary gasped a little. He stopped in mid-sit, or whatever you would call that. Mary’s attention was completely focused on the back of his head, and the bandage that she had apparently just noticed. Nothing like a bandage to kick-in someone into
Mom Mode.
He half-expected her to say something like, “oh, you poor boy.” Much to Two-Bit’s dismay, she didn’t say that. Instead she noted, “that must hurt.”
Dally didn’t answer, he just grunted and dropped into his spot on the couch. Mary, apparently, didn’t speak
Dallas Winston and didn’t realize that his grunt actually meant
leave me the hell alone, lady. “What happened?” she asked with a sympathetic wince as she took a seat in the chair opposite the couch.
Dally didn’t answer, choosing instead to remain mute as he turned his attention toward the TV and the game show that was on. Well, if Dally wasn’t going to share the story, Two-Bit sure as hell wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass.
“Well, what happened was …” he started after making a show of dramatically clearing his throat. He was about to explain the whole breaking-into-houses-with-a-fellow-career-criminal scenario when he remembered just who Mary’s husband was. Well, used to be - not that you can ever stop being that. See, Tom was a cop. He’d been retired for the last two years, but why chance it.
Two-Bit had to think fast on his feet. “Masked robbers!” he blurted suddenly.
“What?” Dally said in shock, as Pony choked on a laugh, and Johnny sighed in annoyance.
“Yeah, man - masked robbers. You might not remember, what with that whole being knocked out cold and everything. But the way you saved that old lady, man that was some serious sh-- … um, you’re a real hero.”
Pony decided to join in. “Don’t ya remember, Dal? They’d cornered that old lady in that alley.”
“Dark alley,” Two-Bit embellished, nudging Ponyboy in the side.
“Uh, yeah - that cold, dark alley …”
“It’s July,” Johnny interrupted dryly.
“That humid, dark alley,” Pony recovered without missing a beat. “The air was so thick you could cut it with --”
“A switchblade,” Two-Bit jumped back in, “which one of these guys was holding at the throat of this kind, old lady who was clutchin’ her purse to her chest like it was the last thing she owned on this earth. When --”
“You appeared out of nowhere,” Pony explained, a huge grin on his face. He didn’t notice the scowl on Dally’s.
“Yeah, man. Good thing you always hangout in dark alleys - ‘cause there you were, just in the nick of time.”
“Imagine that,” Johnny muttered under his breath.
“Dal, I can’t believe you never told us you know Kung-Fu?” Two-Bit said earnestly, an expression of complete awe on his face. “One minute, you’re standing there, a cigarette in one hand, facing down three masked robbers and the next minute --”
“Kung-Fu?” Dally asked incredulously, interrupting the story.
Two-Bit leaned forward and gave him a sly wink. “No need to be modest, man. Mrs. M. has a right to know that she has a real life hero in her house.”
“And the next minute?” Mary said, expectation in her voice. Two-Bit settled back in his seat, certain she was falling for it.
“So one minute, your facing down these four masked robbers.”
“Three,” Johnny said, shaking his head.
“
Three masked robbers,” Two-Bit corrected, “when you suddenly get into your fighting stance.” Pony laughed at that one and it was all Two-Bit could do to keep from laughing at it, too. He wasn’t even sure what a Kung-Fu fighting stance looked like, but the thought of Dallas Winston getting into one was one of the funniest things he’d ever come up with, if he did say so himself. Somehow he kept it together enough to continue his tale.
“One minute the three guys are there, holding this poor woman hostage and the next minute they’re lyin’ on the ground, beaten to a pulp. You moved so fast it was all a blur.”
“Yeah, a blur,” Pony agreed.
“The old lady was overcome with gratitude. She hugged you and gave you a big kiss on the cheek. It was during all this hugging and kissing that a fourth guy snuck up on you.” Two-Bit looked at Johnny and raised and eyebrow. “See, kid, told ya there were four.”
Johnny just rolled his eyes and sighed.
“Anyway, you were distracted and didn’t notice the fourth guy. But, Dal, you should’ve realized - there’s
always a fourth guy.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Dally ground out, but Two-Bit ignored him.
“The next thing you know, you’re wakin’ up in the back of an ambulance, the robbers have run off, and that poor old lady lost her purse anyway,” Two-Bit finished with a sorrowful shake of his head.
Everyone was silent as Mary sat there, a look of contemplation on her face. Two-Bit couldn’t tell if she believed him or not. He was beginning to question the inclusion of the Kung-Fu. That may have been a little much.
“Well, at least you tried, dear,” she said kindly to Dallas, but Two-Bit recognized the glint in her eyes.
Yeah, she hadn’t bought one word of it.
