August Rumble

[theonceler]

LOL, nice one, Zevie! I can picture all that so perfectly in my head. I love the lines "I was wet. I was bubbly." and "Fat cop! Look out!" Hah, and that ending was great.

[Tensleep]

Zevie, dude! That was hilarious! I could see the whole thing going down! Excellent work! I especially like the end with the cop car and the siren. I could see him doing something like that.

Keep up the great work, guys!

[Tensleep]

Ok, my turn! Warnings for content. If you're not big on nakedness, well, you're probably sane, but this is funny nakedness and nondescript, so go nuts!

Thankies to Zickachik73 for betaing since she is awesome! I now have commas!

On with the shoe!


Nothing Out of the Ordinary
By Tensleep

Well, it had been quite a day. I know that most days fall under that category, but today was one of those ones that took the cake. I mean, it’s not everyday I end up walking down the road in only my birthday suit for modesty. I chuckled to myself. Not that most of the people I passed thought that was modest, but it beat being beat up and walking down the road with nothing on. At least the sun was shining. Now, if it were the middle of winter instead of the middle of summer, I might have had a thing or two to say about the whole situation.

Even despite the nice weather, I needed clothes before some officer of the law decided I needed a couple nights in the cooler and an indecent exposure charge on my head. So I did what I always did when I knew I was going to get in trouble – I headed for the closest place to lie low for a bit. Today, that just happened to be the Curtis’ place. I shrugged as I walked up to the house. Traumatizing the guys was better than traumatizing my baby sister. Katie was young and impressionable and all that. Not to mention Ma had warned me not to pull any crap for the rest of the month and she had a nice set of heavy cast iron pans. Man, the day dad left, one of them went right through the front window after him and she’d barely had to even throw the thing it was so heavy. So I wasn’t too keen on going home to that. At least the guys would appreciate the story.

It was with that thought in mind that I boldly opened the door and plastered a grin on my face. One thing gambling had taught me was that no matter what hand you had you always played it with confidence or one hell of a bluff.

Darry, Soda, and Ponyboy were all in the living room, which was perfect since I wouldn’t have to herd them together to hear my story. I don’t mind telling things over and over again, but around here you never knew who was going to pop in right in the middle of the good part and look completely confused until you told it again. So it was always better to get the gang together. Not that the whole gang was here, but you get my drift.

Soda and Ponyboy were sitting on the floor behind the coffee table bent over the newspaper. Darry was sitting beside the laundry basket and appeared to be pairing and rolling all the socks in the entire house. Man, their lives really did get dull when I wasn’t around.

“Hiya Curtises!” I greeted. “How’s it hangin’? Hopefully not too loose.”

Man, I cracked myself up, but I knew the better puns were still to come and didn’t chuckle or let myself get distracted.

Soda looked up with a grin on his face that kind of fell as he glanced over at me before nudging Ponyboy.

“Sorry. Hi Two…you’re naked,” he pointed out, blushing and looking back down at the paper.

“Well, hot damn, I am!” I grinned. “Thanks for solving that mystery for me, Ponyboy.”

“Are you drunk?” Darry asked, not looking up from his sock rolling.

“Stone cold sober. Well, as sober as I ever get,” I amended with a shrug.

“Alright, funny man. There’s got to be a good story behind this one,” Soda stated as he got up to stretch.

“Nah, nothing out of the ordinary, Soda-cola,” I smirked.

That’s about when Pepsi wandered into the room looking under things and on things for some thing. Maybe he was looking for the thing that did the thing to the thing. If that was the case, the ketchup was probably in the fridge. I didn’t say anything as Pepsi started trying to look under Darry for whatever the hell it was he was hunting.

“It’s not in the chair. I checked before I sat down,” Darry told him as he pushed Pepsi away from him.

I didn’t blame him. Not many guys would appreciate another guy feeling up their asses – accidental or otherwise. Kid brother or otherwise, either.

“What’re you going nuts about?” I asked and Pepsi sighed in frustration which always sounded more like a growl. He was a funny kid.

“My wallet.”

Oh, well that made sense. He’d have more luck looking for the ketchup; at least we knew where that was ninety percent of the time. Pepsi’s wallet was only locatable about ten percent of the time. Goes to show what a Greaser considered to be a priority.

Darry got up right about then and made his way towards the bedrooms. Pepsi took the opportunity to properly search the chair, but Darry’d told him it wasn’t there and he was usually right. Pepsi growled and tossed the cushion he was looking under back onto the chair harshly. Score another one for Superman...

“Two-Bit, would you sit down or something?” Ponyboy asked, eyes still trained on the paper.

“And then you can tell us how you came to be lacking clothes,” Soda added.

“What do you mean…” Pepsi chose that moment to look up. “Have you been drinking? It’s not even noon.”

I shrugged and sauntered over to take a seat on the couch. Pepsi sent me a dirty look, so I sighed and made my way over to the chair. He was too damn over protective of the damn couch. Before I could sit down Darry came back into the room with a pair of shorts and a T-shirt in his hands. He held them out to me and I smirked.

“Great! Visual aids for the story,” I joked.

“Put them on,” Darry suggested “They’ll be more appreciated that way.”

He took all the fun out of life, but I got dressed anyways. It was a little chilly in here compared to outside and you know what that can do to…things. By that point Soda, Pepsi, and Pony were all sitting on the couch waiting for the story. If I wanted to start a wrestling match of epic proportions, I could have pointed out how they all looked like excited puppies waiting on dinner, but I still had a story to tell. So I sat down on the coffee table, ignoring Darry’s warning look, and got ready to tell them about my plain old ordinary day.

“Well, this morning I got up bright and early because I promised someone I’d meet them somewhere,” I started.

“Yeah, we know all about your date with Kathy,” Soda interrupted.

“Good! Then I can skip to the good parts.” I grinned. “We were walking along in the direction of her place when we ran into Delilah.”

The boys all nodded. Yeah, any person hanging around with male parts knew all about Delilah. To call her a tramp would be like saying Darry was moderately involved in Ponyboy’s life. It was a big understatement.

“Now, she’s practically groping me in public and Kathy wasn’t having any of that. So she lets fly with those painted nails of hers and then both of them were rolling in the mud fighting over yours truly.”

Darry made a doubtful noise. Ok, maybe they didn’t get into a knock down fight and there may not have been any mud, but who wanted to hear about two catty girls exchanging cool comments? They didn’t even get mad at each other and I wasn’t entirely sure they were acting like that over little old me. That’s why I was telling the story instead of one of them.

“So Kathy kicked her ass. You know how Kathy is. Delilah may have slept with every hood in town, but Kathy’s brother’s probably warned off every hood in town. She’s got pent up energy to use.”

Ponyboy went beet red about then and I smirked. He was far too easy. Soda was on the edge of his seat and Pepsi was trying to look like he’d lost interest. Darry just frowned. There was no pulling the wool over Superman’s eyes. Man, to have him as a guardian probably meant no fun whatsoever.

“Anyways, Delilah takes off, so I suggest to Kathy we head to her place and celebrate a job well done. Her folks are in Topeka visiting family and that brother of hers is always off somewhere doing something, so it looked like the perfect opportunity for some fun. So we get into the house and start getting into it.”

I smiled then because Kathy was a great gal and deserved my appreciation even if she wasn’t here to see it.

“And then?” Soda asked, fidgeting.

“Well, I got down to my birthday suit when her brother stomps up the stairs.”

They all made faces at that. Every guy hates getting interrupted, especially by someone who could kick their ass. I think Ponyboy was imagining that part, but hey. I didn’t pretend to know everything about the kid. I seriously doubted he’d made it that far with a girl thanks to El Big Brother hanging around – all three of them.

“So I’m jumping off the bed and scrambling to find some clothes when he walks in with ten or fifteen hoods on his tail.”

Again, Darry looked skeptical. Ok, maybe it had just been her brother, but he was one pissed off big brother. He looked mad enough to kill. You should have seen him reach for his back pocket the moment he walked in the door.

“So I forgot about looking for my clothes and pointed to something behind them. They were stupid enough to look, so I jumped out the window. The lady next door nearly had a heart attack, but she’s eighty or something,” I shrugged.

“That’s it?” Soda looked let down.

“It would have been if her brother hadn’t jumped out the window after me and nearly sliced me from nuts to neck.”

Actually, by the time I’d gotten myself untangled from the long, frilly, peach curtains he’d managed to get out the front door to wait for me outside, but the window chase was more interesting to tell.

“So I dodge his knife, but he and his goon buddies decided I needed a lesson. So I ran for it. They chased me for about four blocks, throwing everything they could get their hands on at me. They gave up to get the car or something, so I decided that I’d come here for a while before going back.”

“You’re going back?” Pony asked, looking awed.

“Have you seen Kathy? I know she just stuffs her bra, but she has one fine –”

“Two-Bit,” Darry warned and I smiled.

“You’ll understand when you’re actually allowed to look at girls without giving Superman here a heart attack.”

I chuckled as Darry threw a rolled up pair of socks at me. It was the truth!

“Well, that leads me to the moral of the story.”

“What? Don’t do it at her place?” Pepsi suggested with a look that told me he didn’t believe many parts of the story, either.

“Nah. Just make sure you lock the door if her brother’s in town.” I smirked. “Hell, even in state.”

Pepsi rolled his eyes and Soda laughed. Darry shook his head before standing up to get that pair of socks he’d thrown unfairly at me. Ponyboy was still blushing a little, but he seemed ok with the story otherwise. He’d heard worse. Stevie and me and Soda had made sure of that. But then, we didn’t usually say anything when Darry was around.

“Good story, Two-Bit. You have the best adventures,” Soda pointed out needlessly.

“And it’d better stay that way,” Darry added sternly.

“And they always come with baggage,” Pepsi said, standing too. “The big brother, fifteen gang members…Glory, Two-Bit, it’s a wonder your lazy ass is still alive.”

“The luck of the Irish,” I shrugged.

“I thought Mathews was English?” Pony asked.

“Hell, kid. Damned if I know.” I reached over to ruffle his hair, but he ducked his head and leaned out of my reach. He really was smart.

“Hey guys,” Steve greeted, letting the door smack on the wall. “Lose your pants, Two-Bit?”

I smirked and Sodapop smiled widely.

“You gotta hear this one!” Soda told him.

“If you’re telling it again, I’m going to re-search my room,” Pepsi stated, going to do that because, hell, everyone knew I was always up for another rendition of a good story.

“Well Steve, ten minutes ago I was missing a lot more than just my pants.”

- End

[zickachik73]

zevie - I repeat (and apparently concur): great!

Tens - this really is a good piece. I can totally see Two-Bit doing and telling this story.

I love this rumble. I really should get to work. I'm thinking I might make it short - like, super short.

Haha, that is if I ever get around to actually writing it. I dreamed it last night. I have got to stop drinking beer before bed. It makes me hear Two-bit in my sleep!

[zevie]

Ahh...NAKEDNESS. Of COURSE. Key ingredient for successful humour.

"He’d have more luck looking for the ketchup; at least we knew where that was ninety percent of the time. Pepsi’s wallet was only locatable about ten percent of the time. Goes to show what a Greaser considered to be a priority. "

LOL! Funny and pointed.

"It was a little chilly in here compared to outside and you know what that can do to…things."

LOL! Funny and pointed.

(Get it? Ahahaha...)

I love the snippets of intelligence, but few things beat a good penis joke. On a related topic, I enjoyed the Two-Bit exaggerations especially. I love that for most of these fics, he so rarely tells the honest truth. Honesty plays a minute role in a good storyteller's game. Nice work Tens!

(And thanks!)

[Laughing]

Zevie, I read your piece on ff, and loved it. It inspired me to write one, so now I'm not reading any others till I'm done with mine. It's really interesting, because I'm so not used to writing Two-Bit.

[zevie]

Thanks laughing! I aim to inspire. My goal in life is to be one of those who people will point at and say: "I could totally do that."

[zickachik73]

Don't sell yourself short, Zevie. You should be (and are!) someone who people point at and say, "I'm not sure if I could be that damn cool, but I'm going to have a go at it and have a hell of a lot of fun!"

[zickachik73]

It's here!!! I posted it on ffnet and it's been so long since I posted anything and/or started a new story that I almost forgot! I hope you enjoy it - it's been months since I've written, so concrit is accepted and loved! XD

Wildebeest

The dull chime of the clock on the wall was ringing in 11AM as Two-Bit walked in the Curtis house one Saturday morning. After the party at Buck’s last night, he was amazed he wasn’t more hung over than he was. Actually, he was feeling pretty good as he strode in the door, thanking God Darry wasn’t home when it slammed behind him. Seeing that the living room was empty, he headed to the kitchen to find some grub, but instead swiped a bottle of beer out of the refrigerator and slipped out the back door to find Ponyboy smoking on cement stairs.

“Hey, kid. What’s up? Where is everyone?” he asked.

“Darry’s at work. Soda’s at work. Steve’s at work. Everyone works, Two-Bit, except for you,” came Pony’s particularly snarky reply.

“Well, geez, rugrat, who pissed in your oatmeal?” Two-Bit countered defensively, but not angrily.

“Nobody.”

The silence was thick for all of the 5 seconds that Two-Bit could stand.

“So you got in a fight with Darry again, huh?” he asked when he could take no more.

Pony stayed quiet, obviously more angry then he wanted to say.

“Well, shoot, kid. You seem to need some cheering up. And it must be your lucky day because, well,” he paused for a long moment, “I’m here!”

Anger flashed in Pony’s eyes along with the clear annoyance that had been there from the start. “Two-Bit Mathews, you are not as funny as you think and you don’t know nothing about where I’m coming from, so you shut your mouth and stay the hell away from me.”

At that, Two-Bit started laughing like a loon, bending over to catch his breath after a few minutes. “I ain’t never seen you so angry, Pony.” More laughter. “You’re flipping more than Kathy did when she caught me with that blonde Linda down by the river.” He stopped laughing then and straightened, but cracked a grin as he was obviously remembering. “Boy howdy, she was madder than a wet hen. Came at me all claws and teeth, like a wildebeest, but that Linda, she was a quick one. A middle classer. Don’t know what she was doing with me. Anyhow, she took a few steps forward and told her that she’d been assigned to me by the principal to help me finally get past the 11th grade. Then, out of nowhere, I swear it, she pulled out this bookbag and showed Kathy her math book. You know, it’s not so bad looking, the math book. Bright colored and all. Anyway, you know Kathy. She’s not the brightest crayon in the box and she believed her. All the while, I’m wiping the lipstick from my mouth while she’s distracted. I think I got it all because Kathy didn’t hold no grudge and kissed me good and solid when she finally got to me. That Linda’s a looker, I tell you. Don’t know what you’re waiting for on the whole girl front. Makes life a bit more fun. Maybe you wouldn’t be so crabby if you got yourself a girl.”

Pony had zoned out while Two-Bit went on talking, but took offense to his last comment. “I’m not crabby, Two-Bit,” he stressed the name, “but if I was, it wouldn’t be fixed by having a girl. God knows I got enough shit going on in this house without adding a damn girl to the mix,” he finished with a huff and lit up another cigarette.

“Chain smokin’, yellin’ about girls, cussin’ at me for no reason at all. Musta been a doozy,” Two-Bit noted. When Pony stayed silent again, he continued. “Wanna go to the Dingo? I’ll buy you lunch if you promise not to come at me like a wildebeest. I had about enough of that. Can’t take no more.”

“I don’t think so,” Pony answered. “Not in the mood.”

“Come on,” Two-Bit prodded. “If you don’t go, I’m going to have to tell you stories until you’re in a good enough mood to say yes. I got lots,” he warned.

Pony hesitated, and Two-Bit took the opportunity to launch into a second tale.

“Well, I woke up on the floor this morning, sort of. I mean, I was on the floor, but it was just barely morning and I hadn’t just woke up. I missed Mickey and everything. I never miss Mickey. I’m up at the crack of 10 every Saturday, ‘specially for it. But nope, not this mornin’. Buck’s was crazy last night. More grease in that place than in all the shops in Tulsa. Maybe even all of Oklahoma. Tim and his boys showed up and crashed the party. A couple a middle class girls were there too, dancin’ with all the grease trash, probably to make Mommy and Daddy mad. Back to the point, Kathy was there and decided she wanted to drink. And you know me – I can’t pass up a good drinkin’ night for all the oil in Texas. So we start off easy, just the cheap beer Buck serves to the regulars. Then she decides she wants to play a little game and we start up with the Jack. By the time midnight rolls around, we’re off our rockers and dancing around like there’d be no tomorrow to that awful Hank Williams shit Buck plays. We had a few friends in on our games and shots so we weren’t the only ones out there, but we were definitely the best.”

Pony tried to interrupt, to tell Two-Bit that he’d go to the Dingo if he promised to stop it with the stories, but there was no getting to him. He’d started and he was gonna keep talking until he ran out of stories, drank himself silly, went to the Dingo, though there was no guarantee there, or fell asleep. Which it would be remained to be seen.

“Oh, that reminds me of the dance competition Soda and I entered. Golly, that was fun – we were tearing it up out there too, crushing all those Socie hopes and dreams of a trophy. One of the best competitions I ever entered. Anyway, so we’re dancing, and all the sudden, Kathy falls over, straight out of my arms. Dropped to the ground like a lead balloon. So, being the nice guy that I am, I check on her and she’s passed out, drunk as a skunk, there on the dance floor. Now, I’ve seen Kathy drink, but never like last night and I didn’t know what to do. So I pick her up and set her in a chair over by the bar, but I didn’t want to leave her. We may be on and off, but I don’t want anything happenin’ to her like what goes on at Bucks. But I couldn’t take her home either. Her dad would flip and then she’d bitch at me for letting her get in trouble. I decided it was time to go and we’d just go back to my place to let her sleep it off and she’d get home later. So I put her in my car and hoped the brakes worked as I started off toward home.”

He paused for a minute and Pony thought that the bombardment had finally stopped, but it seemed that wasn’t the case when Two-Bit started again after catching his breath.

“So I take her home, put her in my bed, and head to the bathroom for some aspirin. I knew I’d need a few and I figured she might too so I brought them back in and set ‘em on the table for her. I remember thinkin’ I should set an alarm, but I don’t think I did. I mean, I must not have because the next thing I know, it’s 6AM and she’s kickin’ me, tellin’ me to wake up and that she’s dead. It didn’t make no sense to me, because I could definitely feel the kicking and how can she kick me if she’s dead? How can anyone kick when they’re dead? But I opened my eyes anyway. ‘Two-Bit’, she yells like it’s the middle of the day and not 6 in the morning, ‘how could you let me sleep so long? I ain’t been home yet and my daddy’s gonna skin me when I get there!’ Like somehow it was my fault that she passed out from all the drinking she was doing. She ain’t a fish, ya know. Anyway, so I just close my eyes and roll over and she’s still kicking and poking at me.” Two-Bit did an impression of her then, a voice higher than Pony thought could come from him and a nagging tone to boot. “’Two-Bit, you take me home this instant or we are done. For good, this time. None of this on and off bullshit. It’s your fault I’m going to be in trouble anyway and if you don’t fix it, we’re through.’ Well, I just grunted and pulled the pillow over my ears. I was tired and had a headache and she was yelling; what was I supposed to do? She goes off on me one more time, and finally I told her to ‘sit on it’ and that made her real mad. So she pushes me one good shove with me still holding the pillow over my head and I fell off the bed. My bed ain’t so big anyway, and there were two of us on it. I crashed down on my ass, and boy, did that hurt. Then she storms out of the room and I hear the door slam a minute later. I don’t know why she was mad at me. I didn’t make her drink. She didn’t’ even thank me for not letting her stay there to get trampled or worse. And she didn’t take the aspirin I left for her. Nope, she just started in on the nagging.”

Two-Bit paused again and rather than try and interrupt this time, Pony decided a less vocal approach would be better. He put on the shoes he’d taken off and walked away, sure that Two-Bit would follow. When he did, Pony started toward the Dingo, hoping that somewhere along the way, Two-Bit would notice that his wishes were met and shut up. Fat chance. As expected, and dreaded, he continued talking.

“She’s always nagging me. ‘Do this, do that. Take me here, don’t kiss me now.’ I can’t stand it. I guess we’re off again, but I don’t much care. Now, that Linda. She’s a great little package, she is. Met her down by the river, I did. We were talking a bit and she ups and kisses me. Woulda been a lot better if Kathy hadn’t showed up. Oh man, that was doozy. She walks up and sees me with another girl and she was madder than a wet hen. Came at me all claws and teeth, like a wildebeest…”

Pony sighed then and decided that he’d be better off thinking about his argument with Darry. And so he did.

fin

Thanks for reading!

[Tensleep]

Wildebeest: Laura, that was just as good as it was at lunch! plus I am loving the color! Way to jump on the Tens bandwagon! Like I said earlier, I love the in characterness! Two-Bit just going on and on and Pony being in his funk and just trying things non-verbally killed me. Keep up the awesome work.

[zickachik73]

haha, thanks, tens. I am a total band wagon jumper. I'm pretty sure it's my ADD kicking in - the black gets boring after a while and the green and purple needed a friend.

[zevie]

LOL that was funny zickachick! Wildebeest itself is a funny world, lol. I think it's the double vowel. I can't remember where I learned this, but words with double vowels are funny. And double consonants. Anyway. I really liked the roundabout storytelling, one story just evolving out of the other that was well done, and very rambly-Two-Bit-like, lol. Good one!

[zickachik73]

Thanks, Zevie! I haven't written in so long and I'm loving the new inspiration!

[BlindedxxFalcon]

Shoot...It's the 23rd already? I gotta get to work!

Tens- That was too funny! I read the last line and then just had to go back up and read the whole thing!

[Maddiecake]

^{This took me quite a while to do, mostly because I couldn't think of a beginning, but here it is!
It has language, which is pretty much all you have to look out for, so if you're easily offended don't read it.}

This is dedicated to my grandfather and his friend Billy, who completely inspired this oneshot.

-TheFiretruck-

“Stay here, and don’t move,” the police officer growled, forcing the greaser into a straight-backed wooden chair in one of the back rooms of the police department. Grey eyes wandered aimlessly around the room, taking in every crack in the wall and the humming of the florescent lights above. Despite his situation, the grin had not yet vanished from his face, and he continued to hum what sounded like Jailhouse Rock.

Two-Bit Matthews was, of course, here by a complete accident. When he was told to move the damn thing from point A to point B, he had never been specifically told what road to take and how fast to get there. In fact, he wasn’t sure if he was even told where point B was. If he had been, he didn’t remember a thing.

However, he now knew that he was in a shitload of trouble, all because of one vehicle that he had wanted to drive all his life.

The firetruck.

That red car from hell was the reason he was sitting in the police station, locked in a small room with the annoying lights and the uncomfortable chair, and it was the firetruck’s fault that Darry was coming to get him from said station because his mother and sister Lucy were visiting relatives in Colorado.

He sighed, putting an early stop to the Elvis song as he tried to figure out a way to explain it to whoever asked as truthfully and humorlessly as possible. But... who was he kidding? Somewhere along the line he was bound to exaggerate a detail or two, but what was there to exaggerate? He had been arrested driving a firetruck for God’s sake!

A different officer poked his head into the room and scowled at Two-Bit, as if wishing he could just wrap his big, beefy hands around the Greaser’s neck and tighten his hold. Yet his voice held some fake cheerfulness when he revealed that Darry had come to pick him up.

Two-Bit all but skipped out of the back room, tipping an imaginary hat to the officer at the front desk and holding his hand out for a high five to a police woman who walked by. He was feeling overly-cocky. So he was acting like a smartass... what were they going to do? Throw him in jail?

Again, he added silently.

Needless to say, Darry was not pleased with the call he got from the police department, with Two-Bit begging on the other line to pick him up and “get him out of this hell hole” because “they’re killin’ me, Dar! It’s all ‘here again, Mr. Matthews’ and ‘siddown’... like they ain’t even human!” Overly dramatic, yes, but Two-Bit didn’t think anything of it when he and Ponyboy were lounging in the back of the truck while Darry drove them to the DX, saying that Two-Bit could walk home for all he cared because it would do him some good.

“So... how’d you end up there, Two-Bit?” Ponyboy asked, looking at him with confusion. He hadn’t gotten the whole story, obviously, and Two-Bit was pretty sure he hadn’t told anyone anything apart from the simple explanation of “I got pulled over”.

“We-ell,” Two-Bit began, and he could have sworn he heard Ponyboy mumble ‘oh boy, here we go’, but a smack to the back of the head silence him quickly. “It went like this... I was walkin’ down the street mindin’ my own business...”

“Hey kid!”

Two-Bit didn’t bother to turn around, knowing very well that he was not a child, but a mature adult.

“You with the leather jacket! C’mere!”

He glanced around and, seeing nobody else in a leather jacket, turned back and walked over to where a man was standing, wearing suspenders and bright yellow pants. Two-Bit snickered at the outfit. “You get dressed in the dark?” He asked, finding that comment absolutely hilarious, while the man merely found it annoying and unnecessary.

“Yeah, yeah... look. I need ya to drive this here firetruck from here, to...”

“What?” Ponyboy asked when Two-Bit paused. “Don’t you remember the rest of the story?”

“A’course I do!” Two-Bit snapped. “I just don’t remember that part.”

“Why’d you want a greaseball like me drivin’ this thing?” He asked, looking up at the vehicle in all its shiny, red glory.

“’Cause nobody’s answerin’ the goddamn walkie talkie, that’s why,” the fireman snapped. “And I gotta wait here for someone, anyway. So you up for it?”

Ponyboy scoffed. “A fireman let you drive his firetruck? What were you, Two-Bit, soused?”

“No I wasn’t... well... just a lil, but if you don’t shut yer yap, I’m not gonna finish tellin’ you the story.”

“Okay, I’ll be quiet.”

“Good. Now...”

“Put the key in the ignition right there...” Called the fireman from the sidewalk, and Two-Bit rolled his eyes.

“I’m eighteen an’ a half, I can drive a car!”

“But this ain’t...”

“It has wheels an’ it can move if you stick a key in it, it’s a car.”

“So can a zebra but—“

Two-Bit had already started the truck and stepped on the gas, and all the fireman found himself talking to was an empty street.

Meanwhile, Two-Bit was cruising down the—

“Cruisin’?”

“Yeah, cruisin’.”

“Two-Bit, I don’t think you cruise. You speed.”

“You’ll be cruisin’ for a bruisin’ if you don’t stop interruptin’ my story.”

The youngest Curtis rolled his eyes. “You already threatened me with not tellin’ the story, and you didn’t hold out on your end of the bargain.”

“Fine. You can make up the ending yourself Mr. I’m-So-Great-At-Tellin’-Stories.” Two-Bit sat back against the cab of the truck and crossed his arms.

A few moments passed.

“Okay,” Ponyboy said desperately, “I won’t talk anymore. C’mon, tell me more!”

Two-Bit smirked. “Sucker.”

Two-Bit was cruising down the highway. It was oddly empty for this time of day, but he didn’t think anything of it until he saw a police car in his rear-view mirror. He had two options... speed up, or slow down. Not in the mood for mouthing off to cops (hell, he had already mouthed off to an authority figure today, he figured his quota was full), he pulled over.

“And that’s how I got where I am now.”

Ponyboy let out an exasperated sigh. “You were runnin’ the siren, weren’t you.”

Two-Bit’s usual goofy grin spread across his face and he nodded eagerly. “I was ringin’ the bell, too!”