Post by dobby101 on Dec 31, 2007 11:49:59 GMT -5
Okay, I wasn't really sure where to put this, but I figured since I was looking to see whether this character was a Mary Sue or not, I'd post it here. I need lots of constructive criticism, please. Just bring on the flames and such.
About the story
Title: Red Light, Green Light
Person (1st, 2nd, 3rd): 3rd person
Genre: Romance/Young Adult/A tad bit of humor
Rating: 15+
Warnings: Mild Language, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Substance Use, Mild Violence, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Summary: A sixteen year old girl, sister of a tough hood, has a normal everyday schedule. She wakes up, goes to school, and then prowls the town with her best friend. Not always the brightest or prettiest girl around, she learns how to protect herself in tough situations, but when the situation turns to loving her brother’s best friend, she does not know what the outcome will be.
The basics
Name: Elena Anne Matthews
Nickname: El, Elly
Birth date (include how old they are in the story): June, 29 (16)
Birthplace: Tulsa, Oklahoma
Work/Schooling: The local school in Tulsa. She’s in whatever grade Pony’s in because she’s one year older (sorry, the internet’s not hooked up to this computer, and I know I’ll be too lazy to look it up later to put the correct thing in here. Bios aren’t really that interesting to me).
Family: Matthews
Mother: Diane Matthews - single mother
Father: Kevin Harly - left the family when Keith and Elena were both young.
Siblings: Keith “Two-Bit” Matthews - a comedian, drinks more than often but a good guy to be around. A part of the greasers.
Extended Family: Not important.
Home: Elena currently resides in the “bad” part of Tulsa, where the greasers live. Her father left home when she was young and her mother has been working two jobs to support the family ever since. Elena and Keith are not home very much, but do not really help their mom with raising money.
About the character (paragraph answers will help determine what needs work)
Appearance: Elena has a very stocky build like her brother and is only 5’2”. Her hair is a light a wavy brown, but can usually be seen in knots at the back of her head for she doesn’t like to comb through it during the day, in fear of being seen as a “preppy Soc”. Her dark brown eyes are very wide and she only wears a little bit of make-up to extenuate them. She can usually be seen in a large pair of dirty and slightly ripped jeans (not like the Hollister ones of today, that would definitely be a Sue, but actually ripped because of being old and worn too much). To bed, she usually wears sweatpants and one of Two-Bit’s old shirts.
Quirks: She is a person who stereotypes everybody. If she doesn’t think they look the part, than they cannot even get the chance to know her. Her mind came to be that way growing up and hearing all about Socs and greasers. Not to mention, when her Dad left, she came to associate anybody with green eyes and short, curly black hair as a bad guy.
Special Skills: She has the sarcasm of her brother, but in a crueler way, which she sees a good way to get other people down. And when others are down, they tend to do the things she wants them to do.
Anti-Skills: Elena doesn’t really find the need to listen to what others are saying, or listen at all for that matter. She always zones out in school, which accounts for her D’s and F’s in history class. Out of school, she leads her friend around and when anybody tries to tell her to go a different way, she turns a deaf ear. In that way, the proverb “Actions speak louder than words” sums up Elena. She will pay attention if somebody threatens her with a knife, but not with words. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
Romantic Interests: Ponyboy Curtis (Sue alert, I know, but hear me out). Ponyboy is fifteen when this story is taking place, one year after Johnny and Dally’s deaths. Elena never really talked to him, except now that they have classes together, they at least say hi once in awhile. But until the story really gets going, they only see each other as “Two-Bit’s friend” and “Two-Bit’s kid sister”.
Personality: Elena is very sarcastic and witty, but doesn’t flaunt it around anybody she only considers an acquaintance. She’s very much a “popular only around her few friends” type of person because she doesn’t like to talk to others she hasn’t known for years. People in school don’t really notice her like they may notice Sodapop or Two-Bit for their good-humor. She doesn’t really know if she likes it that way or not.
Enemies/rivals: The Socs of course, but she also has a strange disliking for Angela Shepard, but nobody besides herself and her best friend know about (don’t really want to say it here, but it’s not Sue-ish, I promise =D)
Friends: Madison Brenk (I’ll probably make a bio for her later, she’s also the best friend) Good friends: Curly Shepard and Anita Gurber. (the gang knows her, but wouldn’t consider her a good friend)
Hobbies: Prowling through Tulsa. Not exactly getting into trouble, but searching for new things. Elena is the type of person who would love to live in New York City because of all the new things going on around you. She just likes to explore, but to an extent that sometimes costs her a bit of trouble.
Understanding the character
What is his/her goal in life? Elena wants to move out of Tulsa when she’s older and find new places to discover. In many ways, she is kind of trapped in the world of Socs and greasers and just wants to get out of it.
Would the character change for someone they liked? No. She thinks too much of herself to ever change.
What do they appreciate most in life? She appreciates being able to not have any set time to be anywhere. Not even in school because when she gets in trouble there, she only has a detention she has to serve, which means extra quality time with her brother’s friends and her own.
What is the purpose of your OC (why are they in the story?)? She’s a character we haven’t read much about in fan fiction and I really want to do some justice to her, so she’s the main character most of the time. See, with 3rd person, POV could change, so I can’t say all the time.
-------------------------------
About the story
Title: Red Light, Green Light
Person (1st, 2nd, 3rd): 3rd person
Genre: Romance/Young Adult/A tad bit of humor
Rating: 15+
Warnings: Mild Language, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Substance Use, Mild Violence, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Summary: A sixteen year old girl, sister of a tough hood, has a normal everyday schedule. She wakes up, goes to school, and then prowls the town with her best friend. Not always the brightest or prettiest girl around, she learns how to protect herself in tough situations, but when the situation turns to loving her brother’s best friend, she does not know what the outcome will be.
The basics
Name: Elena Anne Matthews
Nickname: El, Elly
Birth date (include how old they are in the story): June, 29 (16)
Birthplace: Tulsa, Oklahoma
Work/Schooling: The local school in Tulsa. She’s in whatever grade Pony’s in because she’s one year older (sorry, the internet’s not hooked up to this computer, and I know I’ll be too lazy to look it up later to put the correct thing in here. Bios aren’t really that interesting to me).
Family: Matthews
Mother: Diane Matthews - single mother
Father: Kevin Harly - left the family when Keith and Elena were both young.
Siblings: Keith “Two-Bit” Matthews - a comedian, drinks more than often but a good guy to be around. A part of the greasers.
Extended Family: Not important.
Home: Elena currently resides in the “bad” part of Tulsa, where the greasers live. Her father left home when she was young and her mother has been working two jobs to support the family ever since. Elena and Keith are not home very much, but do not really help their mom with raising money.
About the character (paragraph answers will help determine what needs work)
Appearance: Elena has a very stocky build like her brother and is only 5’2”. Her hair is a light a wavy brown, but can usually be seen in knots at the back of her head for she doesn’t like to comb through it during the day, in fear of being seen as a “preppy Soc”. Her dark brown eyes are very wide and she only wears a little bit of make-up to extenuate them. She can usually be seen in a large pair of dirty and slightly ripped jeans (not like the Hollister ones of today, that would definitely be a Sue, but actually ripped because of being old and worn too much). To bed, she usually wears sweatpants and one of Two-Bit’s old shirts.
Quirks: She is a person who stereotypes everybody. If she doesn’t think they look the part, than they cannot even get the chance to know her. Her mind came to be that way growing up and hearing all about Socs and greasers. Not to mention, when her Dad left, she came to associate anybody with green eyes and short, curly black hair as a bad guy.
Special Skills: She has the sarcasm of her brother, but in a crueler way, which she sees a good way to get other people down. And when others are down, they tend to do the things she wants them to do.
Anti-Skills: Elena doesn’t really find the need to listen to what others are saying, or listen at all for that matter. She always zones out in school, which accounts for her D’s and F’s in history class. Out of school, she leads her friend around and when anybody tries to tell her to go a different way, she turns a deaf ear. In that way, the proverb “Actions speak louder than words” sums up Elena. She will pay attention if somebody threatens her with a knife, but not with words. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
Romantic Interests: Ponyboy Curtis (Sue alert, I know, but hear me out). Ponyboy is fifteen when this story is taking place, one year after Johnny and Dally’s deaths. Elena never really talked to him, except now that they have classes together, they at least say hi once in awhile. But until the story really gets going, they only see each other as “Two-Bit’s friend” and “Two-Bit’s kid sister”.
Personality: Elena is very sarcastic and witty, but doesn’t flaunt it around anybody she only considers an acquaintance. She’s very much a “popular only around her few friends” type of person because she doesn’t like to talk to others she hasn’t known for years. People in school don’t really notice her like they may notice Sodapop or Two-Bit for their good-humor. She doesn’t really know if she likes it that way or not.
Enemies/rivals: The Socs of course, but she also has a strange disliking for Angela Shepard, but nobody besides herself and her best friend know about (don’t really want to say it here, but it’s not Sue-ish, I promise =D)
Friends: Madison Brenk (I’ll probably make a bio for her later, she’s also the best friend) Good friends: Curly Shepard and Anita Gurber. (the gang knows her, but wouldn’t consider her a good friend)
Hobbies: Prowling through Tulsa. Not exactly getting into trouble, but searching for new things. Elena is the type of person who would love to live in New York City because of all the new things going on around you. She just likes to explore, but to an extent that sometimes costs her a bit of trouble.
Understanding the character
What is his/her goal in life? Elena wants to move out of Tulsa when she’s older and find new places to discover. In many ways, she is kind of trapped in the world of Socs and greasers and just wants to get out of it.
Would the character change for someone they liked? No. She thinks too much of herself to ever change.
What do they appreciate most in life? She appreciates being able to not have any set time to be anywhere. Not even in school because when she gets in trouble there, she only has a detention she has to serve, which means extra quality time with her brother’s friends and her own.
What is the purpose of your OC (why are they in the story?)? She’s a character we haven’t read much about in fan fiction and I really want to do some justice to her, so she’s the main character most of the time. See, with 3rd person, POV could change, so I can’t say all the time.